​Peaceful Mama Birth Services

I was 20 years old when I gave birth to my first child. I had no idea what I was doing, had only read “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” and had no friends with children who could offer me guidance or advice. I was on the typical track of a pregnant woman. I knew I would have a hospital birth and I said I would “go as long as I could without meds but was not against an epidural”. Same as most women.

Friday, October 3, 2008 at “41 weeks” on the dot, I had my weekly OB appointment. I was 2 cm dilated, slightly effaced, but no signs of labor. My doctor checked me and stripped my membranes. We also made an appointment for Monday morning, bright and early for my induction, because it is "dangerous" to go past 41 weeks 3 days. Who am I to question my doctor?? But I was excited! My baby would be here within a few days. I was enormous, swollen, hot and so uncomfortable. I couldn’t wait! That same day I had some minor cramping but nothing crazy. I lost my mucus plug (yay! That’s a good sign!) and went to bed. The next day we got out of the house and went to a little carnival at a local school. I started having irregular contractions, but nothing unbearable.

On Sunday, because we are crazy, we had a BBQ with all of our friends. One last hoorah before the baby came I guess. That day was a super emotional day for me. I cried all day long, locked in my room. I was so overwhelmed with emotion. I was so scared to be induced the next morning and at 20 years old scared to be responsible for another little life. I was still having irregular contractions. At 2 or 3 in the afternoon I started keeping track of them. By 5pm they were 5-7 minutes apart. My boyfriend at the time was having a good time with friends so I hadn’t mentioned anything so far. But at this point things were really picking up! So I let everyone know I was in labor and we started getting ready to go to the hospital. I took a shower and we left at about 8:30pm. Contractions were still 5-7 minutes apart.

When we checked into the hospital I got into my room, put on my hot little hospital gown (not!) and got all hooked up to their monitors. Baby was doing well and I was contracting as I should. They unhooked me and had us walk around the hospital to see if the contractions would pick up more. I walked those stark white hallways for about 2 hours (so fun!). I got back to my room, hooked up again and a nurse checked me. At this point I was really starting to feel it. I was about 5cm. I was lying down in bed and they were hard to bear (I now know that I may have managed them better had I stayed up and moving). Then they told me I have the option of an epidural. I accepted! By midnight the anesthesiologist finally paid his visit. It was so hard to sit there through contractions while he shoved a giant needle in my back! Right after I was all set with my epidural, the nurse checked me. My water breaks! At this point I was at 6cm. They cleaned me up and I quickly felt the numbing effect of the epidural. I fell asleep for a few hours.

At 5:00am I woke up feeling like I had to take a huge poop. Yes! I had the urge to push! It’s show time! I paged the nursing station. Aaaand I paged the nursing station again. At this point I was squeezing my legs together as hard as I could and gripping the bed rails with all my might. I finally sent my boyfriend out to yell at those damn nurses. A nurse finally emerged from the halls and checked me. Apparently my urge to push wasn’t satisfactory enough and I needed to “labor down”. Mind you I am numb from the waist down and tossing from side to side. How am I supposed to “labor down” when I am LYING down?! She let me do some practice pushes to relieve the urge. Which did help, but c’mon! I was ready to rock and roll. I was 100% effaced and 10cm dilated. What were we waiting for? TWO HOURS later at 7am a nurse came in and said “Ok, you can push now”. Gee thanks! A few more nurses came in and I assumed the position with my feet in the stirrups. Counting to 10, controlled breathing, I was rocking this pushing thing. Or so I thought. 2 ½ hours went by and she was crowning, but her head wasn’t coming out. They thought if they brought over the mirror and let me see how close I was that it would motivate me to push harder. According to the head nurse I wasn’t pushing the best that I could. Seriously?! The mirror was a terrible idea. It may work for some people, but when I saw that head bulging out I thought no way! Not gonna happen. Finally they went to fetch my doctor.

I was lucky because my OB actually delivered her as planned, I didn’t have some strange doctor. He struts in after I had been pushing for 3 hours and asks if I “want some help”. YES! Duh! Shouldn’t you have been here hours ago?? He instructs the nurse to turn off my epidural so I can feel contractions more effectively. He has me push through a contraction or two. He then pulls out the vacuum and attempts to suck my little bun out. Didn’t work. So out come the scissors. My epidural had been shut off so you bet your booty I felt that cut! That finally worked and out came her head. Yay! A push or two more and my baby was delivered. Monday, Oct 6, 2008 at 10:31 am. They placed her on my chest and I was in complete awe. I actually did it! I didn’t even realize when I birthed the placenta. I was in a foggy little happy bubble with my new baby. They took her over and did her measurements (9lbs 4oz, 21in. Yes! Huge!) and cleaned her up. My doctor instructed a nurse to turn my epidural back on so he could stitch me up. He probably could have waited a while longer before starting because I felt all of that as well! Ouch! He was taking a while and I asked him if was ever going to be done down there (we had a smartass, sarcastic relationship. One of the reasons I liked him) and he came back with “I’m trying to make it look like a vagina again!” Wow, that shut me up. I was numb for hours after from that darn epidural.

We went home two days later. It was so emotional bringing her home. Here was this little person we had decorated for and spent months dreaming about. She was such a beautiful, sweet little baby. My episiotomy recovery took quite a while. I used my peri bottle for about 12 weeks because I just didn’t feel back to normal. I still don’t. It was a painful healing process. My body didn’t tear naturally so it didn’t heal naturally. I had some baby blues and breastfeeding was not successful. I didn’t have the support I needed, it hurt and I just wanted my space. I also get crazy pains where the epidural was inserted into my spine. All in all I had a healthy baby and my delivery could have definitely been worse. But that doesn’t mean I couldn’t do things differently the next time around.